Game 79: Bob Colbert - Beef Brisket
Jack Nicholson has none of the characteristics of a typical Hollywood leading man. His face is devilish, complete with a Cheshire cat grin, eyebrows fighting to form a right angle, and a hairline that started receding long before his fame. His voice is gravely and sinister with a cadence that fluctuates depending on how soon he wants you to regret being alone in a room with him. After making his film debut as the manic titular character in The Cry Baby Killer, Nicholson’s twenties were spent playing roles that fit his unusual mannerisms and character actor looks. Some examples include the creepy undertaker who gets sexually aroused by dental surgery in Little Shop of Horrors and a cop-killing dirt track racer in The Wild Ride. By the time he hit 30, Nicholson was so dismayed by his fledgling acting career that he wrote a screenplay, the psychedelic thriller The Trip, thinking that his days in front of the camera were over.
The Trip starred Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, who would change Nicholson’s life by casting him as an alcoholic lawyer in 1969’s Easy Rider. Nicholson's role in the generation-defining film that ushered in the New Hollywood era earned him his first Oscar nomination. But more importantly, it was his first step in forcing Hollywood to bend to his will and accept him as a leading man. Nicholson wasn’t traditionally handsome, dashing, or charismatic, but his peculiarities became their own kind of box office draw. He was an A-list star in the body of a character actor.
Jack’s career reminds me of one of my favorite Lakers of the 21st century, Lamar Odom… but in the inverse. When Odom was drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers in 1999, he had the potential to become a game-changing player like Magic Johnson. At 6’10”, Odom could score in the paint and snag rebounds, but he also had the ball-handling and passing ability of a point guard and a three point shot that would’ve made him even deadlier in today’s NBA. However, like so many players drafted by the Clippers in the ‘90s and 2000s, his talents were wasted. And after being rejected by the Clippers and traded by the Heat, Odom continued to underachieve as the starting small forward on several disappointing Lakers teams in the post-Shaq years. Then after a move to the bench in 2008-2009, Odom discovered his true role in life: A supporting role that paid off in rings and respect. But the happiness it brought him was short-lived. The darkness that defined his life ever since he was a child in Jamaica, Queens swiftly returned to envelope him.
““Death always seems to be around me. I’ve been burying people for a long time.” - Lamar Odom to the L.A. Times”
On October 13, 2015, Odom entered the Love Ranch brothel just outside of Las Vegas. When he left the ranch, it wasn’t in a body bag, but it might as well have been one. After a three-day binge of cocaine and a supplement called Reload 72-Hour Strong Sexual Performance Enhancer for Men, Odom suffered multiple strokes and heart attacks. Employees found a nearly breathless body with blood coming out of his nose. Odom was rushed to Las Vegas’ Sunrise hospital, where he was put on life support. After a week, he regained enough consciousness to be transferred to Los Angeles to begin an arduous recovery.
The response from his former teammates and competitors showed how much respect they had for the NBA veteran, who at that point was retired (not by choice) and who was becoming a tabloid target because of his marriage to Khloe Kardashian. “Lamar is like a brother to me,” said his ex-teammate Luke Walton. “Lamar is one of the greatest people I’ve ever known,” said Derek Fisher, another teammate on the Lakers’ 2009 and 2010 championship teams. His former coach in Miami, Stan Van Gundy, told the media that he was one of his “all-time favorites” to coach. Another former teammate, Dwyane Wade, tweeted his prayers, pleading to God to save “one of the good ones.” But underneath his warm personality, which led him to be called “the most popular player in our locker room” by former Lakers GM Mitch Kupchuk, was a man fighting perpetual demons. Odom had one of the biggest smiles in the NBA; try to Google a photo of him without him flashing it. It was one that Sonny Vaccaro, the shoe exec who signed Michael Jordan to Nike, called a “$2 million smile.” But that smile masked a life that was besieged by death on all sides, at all times
When Lamar Odom was only 12 years old, his mother died from colon cancer. With a heroin-addicted father who was rarely around, that left Odom’s grandma Mildred Mercer to raise the rapidly growing boy in the tough neighborhood of Jamaica, Queens. Odom became a NYC basketball legend who used the game as an escape from his troubles. But he also learned how to compartmentalize grief. “Be nice to everybody” was what his mother said to him on her deathbed and he took that heart, not allowing the anguish inside him to serve as an excuse to lash out towards others. So even when his scholarship to UNLV was revoked or when he was suspended twice by the NBA for smoking weed or when he was moved from a starter to a bench player, Odom took it all in stride. Besides, these events paled in comparison to much bigger tragedies in his life.
Lamar, 2nd from left, with future Lakers teammate Ron Artest/Metta World Peace, crouching
In 2006, Odom’s youngest child Jayden, just six months old, died from SIDS while sleeping in his crib. Odom and his family were in NYC that day to attend the funeral of his aunt. Five years later, back in the city for yet another family funeral, this time for his cousin, Odom was sitting shotgun when a motorcycle drove in front of his car. The motorcycle went flying into the back of 15 year old Awsaf Alvi Islam, who died of severe head trauma. The incident seemed to break Odom; he told the L.A. Times that he didn’t eat for over a week. A few months later, as the NBA scheduled its December return after a lockout, the Lakers included Odom in the infamous Chris Paul trade. Even though the transaction was killed by commissioner David Stern, Odom felt betrayed by the one organization that made him feel wanted. He requested a trade. Odom ended up with the Dallas Mavericks but was out of the league within a couple of seasons as his drug use, exacerbated by the increased media scrutiny that came with being married to a Kardashian, spiraled out of control. Then in 2015 came his near-fatal drug overdose and a recovery that few thought was possible.
But just five years earlier, Odom had completed his reverse arc from leading man to character actor. As a starter for nine years with the Clippers, Heat, and Lakers, Odom put up big numbers and showcased many moments of basketball brilliance, but had little playoff success to show for it. In 2008, the Lakers traded for Pau Gasol and made it back to the NBA Finals, only to get trounced by the Boston Celtics in what felt like a six game sweep. Odom didn’t impress in that series and when he showed up to training camp at the end of summer, he was out of shape. That’s when Phil Jackson made the announcement that Odom would come off the bench. For any other player, especially one in a contract year, this was an insult, one you couldn’t take back.
Instead, Odom thrived in his new role. He played eight less minutes per game -- which would’ve been even lower had he not started 32 games when Andrew Bynum was injured -- but maintained numbers close to his career average. When the playoffs started, Odom, who could’ve started on most teams in the NBA, was a potent offensive weapon off the bench who could direct the complicated Triangle Offense. The Lakers won the championship that year and rewarded him with a new contract. The next year, he helped the Lakers get revenge for their 2008 loss against the Celtics by winning the 2010 title. Despite coming off the bench for 41 of their 46 playoff games during those two title runs, he was a regular presence at the end of the games due to the inexperience, lack of mobility, and frequent injuries of Andrew Bynum. In 2011, Odom’s journey from underwhelming starter to champion reserve was completed when he won the 6th Man of the Year award, the first Laker to ever do so. Today, Odom is remarried and living in Cleveland, far away from the spotlights in L.A. and NYC. He looks healthier and happier than ever.
Odom never made an All-Star team and he never lived up to his individual potential as a 21st century Magic Johnson. But before every game for those late-aught championship Lakers, the team would gather in a circle around one player. It wasn’t centered on the intensely scary Kobe or the big man Pau or floor general D-Fish. It was Odom, yelling and jumping and pumping up the team in the middle of that circle. It was Odom, front and center, the most unexpected of leading men.
————————————-
Beef Brisket
2 ½ pounds first cut brisket of beef
½ cup catsup
1 ½ teaspoons dried minced onions
1 ½ teaspoons white horseradish
⅛ teaspoon pepper
½ cup red wine or water
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
½ teaspoon salt
Place beef in pan. Mix together remaining ingredients and pour over beef. Cover and bake at 300 degrees for 3 ½ hours.
Remove beef from pan, cover. Reserve gravy in bowl. Refrigerate both overnight. Slice meat after cold in thin slices; remove fat from top of gravy; pour over meat and reheat at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Here we are: The first Goldstein and Gasol recipe, a brisket from Jack Nicholson’s longtime business manager Bob Colbert, that I prepared after the NBA and the entire country shut down due to COVID-19! This dish was originally planned for the April 8th game against Chicago, one of the three games rescheduled following the death of Kobe Bryant. This game was set for Passover so I was going to try making a traditional Passover brisket for the first time in my life. And now you’re reading this in July. What a season.
Passover has always been my favorite Jewish holiday. Unlike the overrated Hanukkah, which like Passover is a holiday steeped in Jewish tradition and a great story, Passover doesn’t serve as a 2nd tier salve to little Jewish kids who want a Christmas of their own. And unlike the High Holy Days, you don’t have to spend time in Temple… though sometimes you get stuck at a Passover seder with a Haggadah-hoarding guest who thinks he’s a Rabbi.
Of course, it depends on who leads your seder. Until he died on Passover during my junior year of high school, my grandpa led our annual seder. He was an early adopter of computers in the ‘80s, especially Apple Macintoshes, and regularly traded in his desktop set-up for Apple’s latest offering every couple years. With the newest technology at his disposal, he spent his retirement using Photoshop, playing turn-based strategy games like Civilization II, and writing an unpublished children’s book series about mystery-solving grandkids traveling through important events in human history. He also used it to write and print out his yearly Haggadah complete with clipart: Moses.BMF, Pharoah.BMF, Plagues.BMF.
It was a brisk retelling of the story. Since his death, I’ve been to seders where guests will get their turn to read a paragraph and turn it into The McLaughlin Group. You comparing The Occupation to Pharoah’s army is pushing back the start time of my dinner to 9pm, you big dumb Jew. We do this every single year. Nobody needs to hear your thoughts on the historical validity of the Exodus story. The story has not changed since last year. Let my Pablos go.
My grandpa’s seder was relatively quick and always got the part he knew was the favorite of his grandkids: The hiding of the Afikomen. It’s the piece of matzoh that’s set aside and hidden for the kids to find in exchange for a reward. Bursting from the dinner table to listen to my new Hello Nasty CD is probably the most Jewish I’ve ever felt in my life.
On April 7th, I started my brisket. Mayor Eric Garcetti and Governor Gavin Newsom both pleaded with Californians to stay home that week, so my girlfriend and I bought a huge haul of groceries the Saturday before to prepare. We arrived at Albertsons at 4pm and found it relatively empty compared to the packed Jons where we made our first post-Coronavirus shopping shortly after the shutdown began. To my horror, the Albertsons butcher had closed shop early. All that was left were meat juices and fogged-up glass. But a Passover miracle occured: there were two pieces of pre-cut brisket left, at exactly the 2.5 pounds I needed for my recipe.
If you’ve ever eaten brisket, you know that the melt-in-your-mouth quality of the dish comes from it being slow cooked. While brisket is time intensive, there’s very little labor involved once you’ve got your ingredients. I mixed everything together and poured it on top of my meat, which had a beautiful layer of fat on the bottom. My mouth watered imagining that fat breaking down and mixing with the juices and gravy.
After 3 ½ hours, I pulled out my meat and separated it from the gravy. Into the fridge they both went for 24 hours. At 4pm the next day, we joined my family and some friends in a Passover seder over Zoom. It went about as well as 85 year old Jews using technology could go. Once we made our early escape from seder, I sliced my cold brisket and put it back into the oven to reheat. I didn’t have high expectations but I made a beautiful piece of brisket. It had the melt in your mouth quality that I always thought took much more effort.
Considering how simple this recipe was -- basically ketchup, red wine, apple cider vinegar, and onion powder -- it makes me want to try experimenting with more complex brisket recipes. But who am I kidding? I had my eye on this Armenian brisket pop-up on Instagram in the months before quarantine. Once we’re allowed to hang out with humans again, I’m going straight for III Mas.
