Game 19: Steven Jackson - "Meranges"
If you’re a ludicrously wealthy person willing to part with some cash, the NBA offers an incredible up-close-and-personal fan experience. For the price of a down payment of a Toyota Corolla that they’d never get caught dead driving, a rich Angeleno can sit next to players, high-five them, joke around with them, get their drink spilled by them, and, yes, talk trash to them. Most fans know to keep it within the bounds of good taste. Even if they don’t, a card placed on every seat close to the action lets them know. Those who get a little too rowdy are again reminded with another card that serves as their one warning.
But some fans don’t think this applies to them. In 2012, Lakers point guard Steve Blake was having a rotten game, with 8 points and 3 turnovers. After committing his final turnover and fouling out of the game, Blake told a fan “fuck you” and then walked over to the “bitch” for a quick chat. After Blake headed to the bench, the camera cut to a clearly ashamed grown man surrounded by fellow 1%ers laughing and whispering to each other. That fan was Lance Jackson, son of Steven Jackson, owner of the classic ‘80s/’90s retro shoe brand L.A. Gear and one of the richest Laker fans in Los Angeles. Blake was factually correct, but he chose the wrong fan to call a bitch.
If the name L.A. Gear doesn’t conjure up memories of chunky high tops flashing every step, let me quickly refresh your memory. L.A. Gear was founded by Robert Greenberg as a women’s apparel store that turned into the L.A. Gear line of unisex fashion and atheltic gear with a heavy focus on its signature line of shoes. With the help of early endorsements from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, L.A. Gear soon made deals with a swath of A-listers, ranging from Wayne Gretzky to Michael Jackson. In 1990, it was third place in athletic shoe sales behind Reebok and Nike. But the next year saw the company post a loss, the first of several in a row, and in 1998, L.A. Gear filed for bankruptcy. They emerged with a new business plan -- out went manufacturing, in came licensing -- with ACI International as their biggest licensee. Soon after, ACI bought the company out right. And the man in charge of that purchase was businessman Steven Jackson.
Fun fact: After both Robert Greenberg and his son Michael were fired from L.A. Gear in the early ‘90s, the father-son founded Skechers. Ugly as those shoes may be, it’s a very successful shoe company! Now back to a less creative father-son duo...
Steven Jackson is no ordinary Lakers fan. The businessman owns EIGHT courtside seats, easily the most of any other fan. He also built a lifesize replica of the Staples Center court in his Bel-Air mansion, complete with championship banners hanging in the “rafters.” It’s such an authentic replication, that visiting teams and draft picks are known to work out at his house. Needless to say, Steven Jackson brings in a lot of money to the Lakers each year. Steve Blake couldn’t have chosen a worse person’s idiot son to insult.
So who is Lance Jackson then? Just your classic rich guy’s son. There’s not much info on him, so I’m going to assume his early 20s involved classic dumb young rich L.A. kid in the mid 2000s stuff like investing in a tequila company with The Cobra Snake or getting Mickey Avalon’s girlfriend to take the blame for a drunk driving incident. But in 2007, Papa gave Lancey the title of Director of Speciality Product and put him in charge of bringing back the brand’s retro line. In his own words, this meant he spent his dad’s money on the original shoes that were going for $1,000 on eBay and had his people copy it. Several years later, he launched a new line of L.A. Gear shoes spearheaded by a shoe made by Tyga. L.A. Gear is somehow still in business despite this complete lack of imagination or business ingenuity. My favorite of their shoes are these L.A. Lights which look like someone melted down a vinyl copy of Portishead’s Dummy over high top Reeboks.
Like an essential trip hop recording over an open flame, Blake was feeling the heat after verbally sparring with Lance. Blake was fined $25,000 by the NBA, but what he was really worried about was Daddy Jackson. How would he react? And which side would the Lakers take? Fortunately for the Lakers, the two Jacksons reached out to Blake and they all sat down at the Lakers’ practice facility… so that BLAKE could apologize.
It turns out that entitlement runs in the family. Blake wasn’t just insulting the son of the man who spends more money on the Lakers than anyone else. He insulted the son of a man who’s sued the Lakers, Dodgers, Rams, Chargers, and 2028 Olympics because he thinks he’s entitled to the term “L.A.” Don’t ever underestimate the wealthy to one-up their repulsive behavior.
-------------------------
Meranges
Important: Heat oven at 375 degrees for 2 hours before putting cookies in oven.
3 egg whites
12 ounces chocolate chips
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 cup sugar (or less)
Whip egg whites with sugar and vanilla until fluffy. Add chocolate chips. On two cookie sheets lined with waxed paper, drop mixture by teaspoonfuls to make 60.
TURN OVEN OFF. Place cookie sheets in warmed oven for 2 hours
“Meranges.” Fucking “meranges.” It’s meringues, you nouveau riche dorks. You can’t even get being fancy right. This family makes it very easy to dislike them. I don’t think Steven or an infant Lance contributed this recipe, so the focus of my ire is either Ellen, Beth, or Jay, the other three Jacksons listed in the recipe.
First off, I want to make clear that I followed the recipe to its exact instructions. I heated my oven at 375 for TWO hours. It’s going to cool down inside at the same rate whether it was at 375 for thirty minutes or two hours, but I followed this step.
Then I googled a dozen other meringue recipes to see if they turned off the oven immediately before placing the cookie sheets inside the oven. None of them did. All had the meringues baking at low heat for hours.
So, knowing I was headed for a disaster before I separated my first egg yolked, I forged forward. I used my electric hand mixer, slowly adding in sugar and vanilla to the egg whites. After 5 minutes, I added the chocolate chips. Adding an entire bag of chocolate chips to something as delicate as a meringue is a terrible idea.
I was left with sweet goop. I turned off the oven and put them in. My oven is only a year old and is fantastic at keeping its heat. After an hour, I put my hand to the surface and it felt cooler than the back of my TV after watching an extra innings Dodgers game. Still an hour to go.
Once the two hours were done, I was left with these flat “meranges” that were stuck to my wax paper. But you know what? Once I broke off pieces, it didn’t taste that bad. An aesthetic mess that just barely does the trick … just like an L.A. Gear sneaker!
