Game 42: Jerry West - Stuffed Potato Skins
On September 5th, 2019, President Donald Trump awarded Jerry West the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest award that a president can bestow on a civilian. West was joined by fellow athletic recipients/drooling pro-Trump toadies Bob Cousy, Tiger Woods, and Mariano Rivera. It took Trump exactly 75 seconds to mention that he won West’s home state of West Virginia by 42 points.
The only silver lining I took from the Dodgers losing the World Series in back-to-back years is that I didn’t have to find out which of my favorite players were Trump supporters. Just look at Kurt Suzuki, the veteran fan favorite catcher on the Washington Nationals who let Trump fondle his man tits at the Rose Garden celebration of their team.
I’m not dumb. I know that A LOT of my favorite Dodgers are Trump supporters. The MLB’s American-born players are all mostly white. And playing a boring, cost-prohibitive sport like baseball comes naturally to suburbs and cities far away from the country’s metropolitan areas. So I’m going to take a look at the 2017-2018 Dodgers and give my thoughts on which baseball men are probably Trump supporters.
CLAYTON KERSHAW
Oh, Kershaw. The greatest Dodger of the last 30 years. When all’s said and done, maybe the greatest Dodger of all time. But besides his playoff failures, there’s the nagging reality in the back of my head that Kershaw filled out a ballot for a guy who’s influenced multiple people to shoot up synagogues filled with people like me (atheists who haven’t gone to temple in 12 years).
My assumption comes from Kershaw’s steadfast devotion to Methodism under the Evangelical Christianity umbrella. Kershaw is by all accounts a great person. Since becoming the team’s de-facto captain, he’s regularly put on an annual ping pong tournament for his “faith-based, others-focused” charity Kershaw’s Challenge which raises money for organizations in Los Angeles, Africa, the Dominican Republic, and his hometown of Dallas. And unlike other athletes who point to the sky after striking out the #8 hitter or thank God for their NFC Wild Card Weekend win, Kershaw is fairly quiet about his faith unless asked.
But the only thing that Evangelicals love more than Israel is Trump. There’s zero chance Kershaw voted for anyone besides Trump.
WALKER BUEHLER
If everything goes according to plan, Lexington, KY-raised Walker Buehler will give the Dodgers a Kershaw-esque run of dominance for the entirety of the ‘20s. Given the right-hander’s incredible pitching ability at so young an age, he doesn’t give off the vibe of someone overly involved with politics. His Twitter follows and likes give off the impression of a 25 year old who loves baseball, throwing a damn baseball hard as fuck, and generally only baseball-related interests. He also seems like the kind of guy who nods confusingly, but approvingly, when his ex-Marine cousin starts talking about the wall at Thanksgiving.
CODY BELLINGER
In just three seasons, Cody has racked up 111 home runs, 443 hits, a 17.4 WAR, the Rookie of the Year Award, a Gold Glove, and the MVP Award. And while he grew up in the blue Phoenix suburb of Chandler and seems apolitical a la Buehler, he’s also the son of a rich former MLB player. Due to the MLB’s ludicrous rookie contract rules that caps a (non-international) player’s earnings until they enter their mid-20s, Cody’s salary was only $1,725,000 for his first three seasons. COMBINED. But now that he’s due $11.5 million in 2020, I have a feeling he’ll be interested in the tax-cutting policies of the GOP.
TRAYCE THOMPSON
The Dodgers have had an embarrassment of riches in the outfield over their seven year NL West dominance. Through this division win streak, players like Trayce Thompson and Andrew Toles seemed like stalwart starters and key bench players for championship contending teams, only to have their careers changed by literal run-ins with the outfield wall. Thompson, the brother of NBA champion Klay, was never the same after fracturing his back in 2016 and was sent down to the minors in 2017, missing out on the pennant-winning season.
Thompson is also the son of Lakers great and devoted religious conservative Mychal Thompson. Mychal gives off serious stage dad vibes, the yin to Lamar Ball’s yang. Whereas Lamar loves the limelight, never missing an opportunity to spar with Skip Bayless or appear on Monday Night RAW, Mychal seems like the kind of dad to instill into his sons a serious conviction of the Lord. Klay has bashed Trump in the past for calling Bahamian victims of Hurricane Dorian “drug dealers” and “very bad people.” But Bahamian-born Mychal has stayed steadfast in his support of Trump, even though he took issue with Trump’s comments. Trayce doesn’t seem as outspoken as his brother; his Twitter is private and his Instagram hasn’t been updated since he was a Dodger. If Thompson doles out love via athletic accomplishments, then Klay is the key victor. So the other option to win his father’s love? All aboard the Trump Train choo choo.
MAX MUNCY
Muncy has been one of the biggest surprises in baseball in 2018. His career looked like that of a career journeyman at best and of a career minor leaguer at worst after being released by the A’s just before the 2017 season. But after a season on the Dodgers’ AAA team, Muncy was called up and joined Turner as the one-two punch of unlikely home run hitters with 35 jacks in back-to-back seasons.
Muncy, like most baseball players, is pretty quiet outside of the ballpark. But he is from Keller, TX, a suburban city outside of Dallas that voted 75% in favor of a brainworm-addled man who regularly forgets he has a teenage son. The kicker? He follows lots of Barstool Sports people on Twitter. Munce, I love ya, but let’s not talk politics if we ever kick it.
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Stuffed Potato Skins (serves 6)
3 large potatoes
1 pound cooked bacon
Butter
Chives
1 pound grated cheddar cheese
Oil
Sour cream
Wash potatoes. Rub outside with oil and baked either in 425 degree oven for 50 minutes or a microwave according to directions. Cool enough to handle.
Cut each potato in half, lengthwise. Scoop out most of the meat, leaving enough so that the skin keeps its shape. Smooth butter over inside and outside of skin and broil until each side is crisp. Crumble bacon and fill each skin with a layer of bacon topped with cheese. Put under broiler to melt cheese. Serve with sour cream and chives.
Skins can be filled with an assortment of fillings, use your imagination.
I used my imagination to create a version of this that didn’t suck.
“Scoop out most of the meat.” Why? Did West’s family really eat stuffed potato skins devoid of any potato “meat”? I saved the meat in a bowl and if you try this, I recommend you do so too because even if you layer the cheese and bacon with potato meat, there isn’t much for you to eat.
It’s a bad baked potato that takes much longer to fix than an actual baked potato. I got nothing else to say about this dumb meal.
